Journey to the Edge of the World

So I could write novels about my many relationships and what happened to me in my 20's.   Deciding to become a river gypsy with a boyfriend only to find out he was cheating on me before we even moved onto the tiny boat together.  My mum passing away suddenly from a sudden heart attack.  Leaving my beloved university town of Brighton to get away from the drug scene only for it to catch up with me wherever I moved.  My move to the edge of the world.

At 29 I realised I was unhappy.  I hated the bleakness of the UK,  I constantly felt anxious and I knew my soul was yearning to be elsewhere.  And of course as soon as I made this decision I met someone and fell madly in love.

"Don't fall in love with me I told him, I'm moving abroad at the end of this year."  And what do you know... his reply was, "Well I've always wanted to live abroad"

So we moved, as far away from our homes as we possibly could - New Zealand!

Oh the magic when we arrived.  My heart had found it's home.  I loved it.  There was one problem, my relationship.  This man who I was madly in love with had changed, or was it me?  No longer was our relationship based on clubbing and drug fueled nights but sight seeing, beach trips and wine festivals.  We didn't know how to interact together without the drugs.  We didn't know each other without the drugs. So at 31 I found myself single again.

I did my usual which is spend no time alone and DESPERATELY seek my next relationship.  And this time I was desperate.  The biological clock was ticking loudly and I NEEDED to find a husband.

I met someone, I knew he wasn't the one, we were chalk and cheese.  But he was kind and sweet and most importantly he loved me.  This man became my husband.

15 Years On

Fifteen years ago I was at uni.  The world was my oyster.  I was partying.  I was experimenting with drugs.  I was experimenting with men.  I was also training to be a teacher.

Fifteen years ago how did I see my life?  Did I predict it would be like this?  Not in a million years. But here I am, single again, wondering what's next and fifteen years later it's a WHOLE different ball game.  No longer am I an insecure, clubbing mad, naive 20 year old who tries to please everyone but a pretty confident, spiritual and quirky, intuitive 35 year old who has been told on more than one occasion by men that she is a witch.   Does it mean life is easier?  Nope!  Has it got harder?  Nope! Has it got more interesting?  I never thought I'd be able to say this, but yes it has.

This is my life, this is my blog and how I found love, lost love, lost myself, moved to the other side of the world and learnt about the mystical!  It hasn't been a boring journey that's for sure!